I'm considered "well read" in the Ethiopian sense. Deep thinking and intelligent -for a woman, atleast. Which means I know that "Farewell to Arms" isn't a diet book and that Budda [as in Gojjame] and Buddha are two different people.
But when I come online I get the painful realization that I'm not really smart, not like the people around here, not like the owner of "Writing on Air" blog.
And that hurts! It hurts like hell. No excuse of having had not enough exposure and stuff helps at a time like that.
It's all very well for Hixerbear of http://whyshouldilive.blogspot.com/ to say your self esteem should come from being human. Good, if it works for him. But not for me. Here, a woman of 30 amounts to nothing unless she's married or published. Married for her mom and everybody else. Published, for herself, to show everybody that this is what she's been doing when all her friends were busy going out [on dates]. I fancy being/looking smart is my way of trying to raise a hand from the dump I'm in, like a wrestler trying to indicate he hasn't given up the fight yet, or of saying "take it or leave it, fucker!". Pathetic! But you can't really help urself when you are someone like me.
So, anyway, how do I become a sage-a wise person, sagacious, learned, clever?! What book do I need to read or which website do I have to visit?!
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4 comments:
I think you have the wrong focus.
There will always be people you can compare yourself to that are more skilled, smarter and better in most things than you are. If you aquire new skills or knowledge your self-confidence might increase, but that's not the most important variable.
The important thing is self-esteem. For me it took a route through morality to accept myself and like myself as I am. I don't know a general method of how this is done. But I am pretty sure that raising your self-esteem does not have much to do with what skills or knowledge you aquire about for example classical literature.
No use trying to be like someone else. Just be yourself, respect yourself and others, take what life has to offer you, and give to the world, yourself and others, as a writer etc., what only you can give.
There's only one you, and like everyone else, you're special.
Why do you feel
like a duck
stuck in a small tub
full of mud,
when you're not?
I feel blue too, sometimes.
Like I was a paper crane
maybe pretty, and flying high
from that thin thread above
but still just a piece of paper,
not worth a buck.
But what the...!? :)
Let the fire and rain attack
and destroy those false self images.
A a paper crane, or a stuck duck? Yuck!
That's what we're not!
Like me, and we all,
you're someone special,
made by God.
dear the goodbadandso,on
i know what you mean. EXACTLY what you mean
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